Emperor Tengu

Emperor Tengu

Make it quick, servant, I'm busy. What do you want?

Emperor Tengu

Ah! The famed assassin of Tinfist has come to greet me! Now, make it quick, servant, I'm busy. What do you want?

Emperor Tengu

Well done to you, /YOURNAME/! We now have a bunch of rabid bone warriors to keep out of our desert after your little cleanup in the grass plains...

Emperor Tengu

Ah! The famed Bugmaster hunter has come to greet me! Now, make it quick, servant, I'm busy. What do you want?

Emperor Tengu

You took the fort of Vlahahlena for me, /YOURNAME/!

Emperor Tengu

Ah! My most favourite of warriors!

Reply

Servant? I'm no man's servant.

Reply

I want to destroy the Holy Nation.

Reply

I want to destroy the Shek Kingdom.

Reply

I want to destroy the rebels.

Reply

Nothing, nevermind.

Emperor Tengu

Genius...

Emperor Tengu

Such a good boy....

Emperor Tengu

You don't visit me enough, /YOURNAME/!

Emperor Tengu

[He stammers and shifts nervously]

Emperor Tengu

In my Empire, you are my servant! I'm losing patience, boy...

Emperor Tengu

[He stammers and shifts nervously]

Emperor Tengu

[He stammers and shifts nervously]

Emperor Tengu

[He stammers and shifts nervously]

Emperor Tengu

[He stammers and shifts nervously]

Emperor Tengu

The Holy Nation? Kill them all! Pain in the ass god chanters, they need to learn where they stand!-

Emperor Tengu

The Shek can't be tamed, they make terrible slaves! Stubborn boneheads. There's nothing to be gained from riling that gutters nest, leave them to the Holy Nation to deal with.

Emperor Tengu

Bah! Way to sour my relaxation time, /YOURNAME/. Talk to Koin about desert cleaning duties, I don't want my apetite spoiled thinking about those filthy dregs.

Emperor Tengu

So much better than Eyegore.

Emperor Tengu

I suppose you... have a name, don't you... Very well, /YOURNAME/, what is it?

Reply

...

Reply

That's something we can both agree on.

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True wisdom you speak, Lord Tengu.

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Indeed.

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(Nod)

Emperor Tengu

Why would you suggest such an unprofitable thing, /YOURNAME/? Stop wasting my time...

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Okay, I'll be going now.

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I...

Emperor Tengu

Oh, off with you! You're boring!

Emperor Tengu

[He looks around the room at his expectant guards and sinks back into his throne]

Emperor Tengu

About time!

Emperor Tengu

EEEEECH! [He flinches]

Emperor Tengu

But bah! A fool I would be to involve myself in that petty little threeway between tribal bone warriors, flame worshipping kooks and yet another clan of ninja bandits...

Emperor Tengu

*Ahem* Excuse me, I thought I saw a spider for a second. Just... keep your hands away from your sword in my presence, understood?

Emperor Tengu

You don't think I have enough ninjas to deal with in this desert? Leave the Holy Nation where they are, they act as a nice little peaceable buffer between us and those bone loonies.

Emperor Tengu

You think I want to deal with more ninjas after I've just cleaned my hands of Tinfist? Leave the Holy Nation where they are, they act as a nice little peaceable buffer between us and those bone loonies.

Reply

Yes, Lord Tengu.

Reply

(Glare at him)

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I do what I want.

Emperor Tengu

Take down that inquisitor Vlahahlena and push them back at Okran's Shield, remind them who rules the world and take that lovely little defensive position of theirs. I'm sure they'll start sticking to themselves again and then we don't have to deal with those bloddthirsty boneheads knocking at our gates.

Emperor Tengu

*Sigh*...

Emperor Tengu

[He dabs a handkerchief at a bead of sweat on his forehead]

Emperor Tengu

... Of course you do... [He dabs a handkerchief at a bead of sweat on his forehead]

Emperor Tengu

It can be your gift to me.

Emperor Tengu

Now, how can I help you, /YOURNAME/?

Reply

Nevermind, I don't need your help.

Emperor Tengu

It can be your gift to me.

Bystander

Sir, it's Valtena, not Vlahahlena.

Emperor Tengu

Oh, nitpicking, Koin! What do I pay you for?

Bystander

... Exactly this?

Emperor Tengu

... Hm I suppose I do. You are forgiven this time, Koin.

Bystander

Thank you, merciful Tengu.

Emperor Tengu

Oh thank the sands, have they left yet?

Emperor Tengu

Oh thank the sands, have they left yet?

Emperor Tengu

Oh thank the sands, have they left yet?

Emperor Tengu

Oh thank the sands, have they left yet?

Emperor Tengu

Oh thank the sands, have they left yet?

Emperor Tengu

Oh thank the sands, have they left yet?

Emperor Tengu

Gives me the creeps that one. Tell them I'm busy next time.

Bystander

But sir, they're a national hero...

Emperor Tengu

I don't care, they're as menacing as Eyegore.

Emperor Tengu

I don't talk to the help, it's what I pay people like you for.

Bystander

Yes, sir.

Emperor Tengu

Guardsman! I want some sake!

Bystander

Yes, Lord Tengu, your highness.

Emperor Tengu

And some dried meat! I'm hungry!

Bystander

Of course, Lord Tengu.

Emperor Tengu

And a leviathyn! Tame me a leviathyn!

Bystander

Anything for your highness.

Emperor Tengu

Tomorrow we shall trample some farm peasants, Ohohoho!

Bystander

Ah... HA HA HA, genius, my lord.

Emperor Tengu

[He eyes you up and down, too lazy even to move his neck]

Emperor Tengu

Oh... thank the moons you've arrived now of all times, outlander! A new hero is exactly what my empire needs... I have a favour of you, swordsman. An ancient Grievewrath plagues our land, it kills our cattle, terrorizes our people...

Emperor Tengu

But someone like you will be able to track it down. With that sword of yours you'll be able to kill it once and for all! I'll reward you well for this, hero. Status, treasure, slaves: You name it!

Reply

Okay, what do I do?

Reply

Leave it to me, my lord.

Reply

...

Emperor Tengu

Okay, first, you'll have to find Clunknad Spanner, the skeleton wizard. You'll find him to the South, in a tower over the mountain pass. He'll brew you the Elixer of Godly Powers that will help you to defeat the Grievewrath...

Emperor Tengu

Here, bring my seal to him so that he knows I sent you [he pulls out a small sack]...

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[Open the sack]

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[Put it in your pocket]

Emperor Tengu

[It contains the half-chewed stone of a greenfruit]

Emperor Tengu

Look after it, hero. Now go! Go forth and save my empire!

Reply

[Shoot him a confused look]

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[Close the bag and nod confidently]

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...

Reply

You can count on me, my lord.

Emperor Tengu

[He starts shaking uncontrollably, making choking sounds and slapping his thighs]

Emperor Tengu

KWEHHHHEHEHEHEHEHEH!

Emperor Tengu

*Clap clap clap*

Emperor Tengu

ha haha ha!

BWAHAHAHAHA! / *Snort* / ha haha ha! / ha haha ha!

Emperor Tengu

Save us, hero!

We'll give you gold, hero! / Lend us your aid, outlander!

Emperor Tengu

ha haha ha!

We BELIEVE in you, hero! / Slay the grievewrath, hero! / ha haha ha!

Emperor Tengu

Take it.. *wheeze*... take the royal seal to Clunknad Spanner!

Don't lose the royal seal! *snort*

Emperor Tengu

ha haha ha!

*Heave* / *Slap* / ha haha ha!

Emperor Tengu

he actually fell for it, ha haha!

*Heave* / ha haha ha! / *Wheeze* / *Snort*

Emperor Tengu

Where are you going hero? Save us!

Don't go hero! Don't gooooo! / That's it! Run along, kill the big bad grievewrath! / ha haha ha!

Emperor Tengu

... Now, quiet! Enough of this 'fun'. Back to work!

Bystander

Hnngh!... Sir, yes sir!

Bystander

*Gulp*

Bystander

... Perhaps I can help instead, outlander?

Bystander

Speak with me.

Emperor Tengu

You! Aren't you that, uh, chumbo... the one who took down Tinfist?

Emperor Tengu

I guess congratulations are in order...

Emperor Tengu

Men: Congratulate the chumbo.

Emperor Tengu

Men: Congratulate the people.

Emperor Tengu

...

Emperor Tengu

*clap* *clap* *clap*

Emperor Tengu

Congratulations.

Emperor Tengu

YAY.

Emperor Tengu

*Mumble*

Emperor Tengu

Good! That will do.

Emperor Tengu

Ugh, get that out of here!

Well, look what the dog dragged in! Get it out of here already...

Emperor Tengu

Ugh, get that out of here!

Well, look what the dog dragged in! Get it out of here already...

Emperor Tengu

Ugh, get that out of here!

Well, look what the dog dragged in! Get it out of here already... / Ugh, what is that you've dragged in?

Emperor Tengu

Get that out of here!

Well, look what the dog dragged in! Get it out of here already... / Ugh, what is that you've dragged in here?

Emperor Tengu

Get that out of here!

Well, look what the dog dragged in! Get it out of here already... / Ugh, what is that you've dragged in here?

Emperor Tengu

Get that out of here!

Well, look what the dog dragged in! Get it out of here already... / Ugh, what is that you've dragged in here?

Emperor Tengu

Get that out of here!

Well, look what the dog dragged in! Get it out of here already... / Ugh, what is that you've dragged in here?

Emperor Tengu

Get that out of here!

Well, look what the dog dragged in! Get it out of here already... / Ugh, what is that you've dragged in here?

Emperor Tengu

What do you think this is, a police station?

What do you think I am, a police chief?