Hobbs

Hobbs

Hey, you! Come drink with me!

Hobbs

That's right, come sit with me. Have a drink.... hey, have you ever heard the story of the wailing banshee?

Yes, that's it, have a drink on me... say, have you ever heard the story of the wailing phantom?

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...

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No, what's it about?

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I'm not interested in hearing your stories

Hobbs

Well, legend has it that it dwells in a sunken cave, south of the sands. I hear it has bones made of solid diamond - just one tooth would fetch you kabillions - no, poobilllions - of Cats! It has the gigantic tongue of a lusty tree hag and a marvellous pair of bingo wings that droop like smooth potato butter. Some even say that it has the snout of fondled truffle! Even the most handsomest of man-warriors haven't been able to hunt the peppery thing down.

Well, legend has it that it nests deep, deep into the forest. They say it preys on lost travellers, feeds on their souls and makes rotting loinclothes out of their neck skins. Apparently, survivors have told that it has a pungent potato odour and has eyes that resemble surprised truffles. There was one particularly handsome man-warrior that once very nearly slayed the beast, but he choked on a boiled potato two and a half weeks ago

Hobbs

... I don't like you

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... (Walk away)

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...Seriously? Don't waste my time with your jibberish, wacko

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That... that sounds AMAZING! How do I find it?

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...Uhuh, sounds interesting... I have to go now

Hobbs

If I knew that, I would have tracked it down myself. But if you're going to head out in search of it, you must take me with you. Call it an old dying man's last wish!

Hobbs

Come back for another drink!

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Then I will grant you your wish, old man! Join me in search of this beast

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You're dying? What's wrong with you?

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Sorry, I don't need a dying old man to slow me down

Hobbs

Lead the way!

Hobbs

Aren't we all slowly dying together in this cruel world?... Yes! And this dying man wishes to witness that beautiful, mysterious beast for himself. They say that if you quaff it's inner syrups then you'll gain the power of balmy immortality! Oh! And that true love's smooch will transform the beast into a glorious man-cherub whom will grant you all of your deepest hankerings...

Aren't we all slowly dying in this relentless, dark world?... Yes! And this dying man wishes to witness that diabolical monster with his own two eyes. They say that if you lick one of it's pinky toes then you'll gain the power of sweet balmy immortality! Oh! And that true love's smooch will transform the beast into a glorious man-cherub whom will grant you all of your deepest munchies...

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I have a bad feeling about this. I don't think you're sane

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You're right - wise words! Join with me, let's find it together

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So... you're not dying...

Hobbs

Well okay, come back for another drink some time!