Yamdu

Yamdu

Sir.

Yamdu

Good to see you again, sir. Is there anything I can help you with?

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Let's talk about war.

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Who are you?

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I'm not a 'sir'...

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Nevermind.

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Yes, I want to make an alliance.

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No, nothing thank you.

Yamdu

Oh certainly, sir.

Yamdu

Noble Squire Supreme Yamdu, nice to meet you, sir. We handle master Longen's businesses. Is there anything we can help you with, sir?

Yamdu

Oh, but that's easy, sir! Lifetime membership to the Traders Guild costs 100,000 Cats. Unless you have a trading post in the area. Do you have a trading post, sir?

Yamdu

Safe travels, sir...

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I want to destroy the Holy Nation.

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I want to destroy the Shek Kingdom.

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I want to destroy the swampers.

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I want to destroy the rebel farmers.

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I want to destroy the Anti Slavers.

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Stop calling me sir.

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Okay, sign me up

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I do have an outpost...

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Nevermind, I've changed my mind.

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So, what does my membership get me?

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I don't have a trading post.

Yamdu

Good call, sir. The Holy Nation wastes many resources, it’s a shame to leave all of that iron ore unharvested when we can claim it for ourselves and put some of those uneducated civilians to good use.

Yamdu

Oh yes, sir. Very nice work eradicating the Stone Golem. Okran's Pride is now in chaos with kamikaze shek, their paladins are starting to become overwhelmed...

Yamdu

Ah yes, sir. Profits in the weapons trade... [He pulls out a clip board]... have plummeted 45% since the Stone Golem took the throne in Stenn. Starting a war with the Shek would be very beneficial to kickstart a few more sales.

Yamdu

The swampers? Oh, no sir, the swampers are really quite profitable for us. Best to leave them be.

Yamdu

Oh, but sir, there is much less competition for us when the farmers are hiding in the mountains. Since Simion organised his bandits, the slave farm's profits have gone through the roof. Some of the caravans are taking a hit, but demand has increased so... highs and lows, sir.

Yamdu

Ah yes, sir. Quite troublesome for production... The main leaders are hiding in the Forbidden Zone, south of the desert, we don’t know where exactly. The Forbidden Zone is out of bounds, it became expensive sending soldiers there... as thrall feed imaginably. But in order for us to continue expanding, Tinfist’s operation needs to be shut down. Once he is killed, his faction will crumble. You would be rewarded well for his eradication.

Yamdu

B-but.... [He stutters and looks bemused]...

Yamdu

Oh good, sir! Welcome to the Traders Guild. Please, take your membership pack and have a nice day.

Yamdu

Oh good, sir! Then you get discounts, 75,000 Cats.

Yamdu

No problem. You know where to find us if you need anything...

Yamdu

Oh, so many things, sir. Free trade, protection, slave exemption, and 'class', of course. It is the desert man's dream to one day become a member of the fine Traders Guild!

Yamdu

I see. Then I cannot give you discount, how sad. Your membership will cost the full price, sir.

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So where do we start?

Yamdu

They're still holding on to a strong defensive position on the southern border though. I suggest next assassinating Seta in the town of Stack. You would essentially be opening the Holy Nation's back door nice and wide for the attacking Shek to have their vengeance even more freely, sir.

Yamdu

The High Inquisitors still hold strong defensive positions though. I suggest next assassinating Seta in the town of Stack. You would essentially be opening the Holy Nation's back door nice and wide for the attacking Shek to have their vengeance even more freely, sir.

Yamdu

With Seta out of the way and their southern defenses open, the Shek are overrunning Okran's Plains like an infestation. Dispose of Valtena and we can very easily nudge Tengu into sending United Cities forces in to Okran's Shield. Then we finally have our foot in the door to harvest those green plains see, sir.

Yamdu

Both of the Phoenix' inquisitors are out of the way and we've captured their richest resources. As far as the Traders Guild is concerned, we have all we need from Okran's Pride. We'd prefer not to take Blister Hill and have such power go too much to Tengu's head, sir...

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So where do we start?

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I don't care about profits, Yamdu. I just want to kill.

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... Forget I said anything.

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I have another question...

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Yamdu... do you have a soul?

Yamdu

All I can say, sir, is search south. He’ll likely be hiding in a dangerous spot you wouldn’t expect. He is very sneaky afterall, sir.

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I can't afford a membership right now.

Yamdu

Safe travels, sir...

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Okay, sign me up

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So, what does my membership get me?

Yamdu

Well you see, sir. We don't really have to get our hands bloody at all. We can unleash a great chaos upon the Holy Nation, and we can have the Shek destroy themselves too, as they are so raring to do.

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Thanks for the tip, Yamdu.

Yamdu

Well, sir, when it comes to the Shek Kingdom we can kill two bonedogs with one nodachi, see. The Stone Golem, stationed in Admag, is the only thing holding the Shek back from war. Assassinate her covertly and the Shek extremists will surely assume the Phoenix responsible. They'll fight themselves extinct and the Holy Nation will be overrun with the vengeful war mongerers that are left...

Yamdu

You do, sir?

Yamdu

A soul, sir?

Yamdu

Oh, so many things, sir. Free trade, protection, slave exemption, and 'class', of course. It is the desert man's dream to one day become a member of the fine Traders Guild!

Yamdu

All you need to do is assassinate the Stone Golem, sir. She’s the only thing holding the Shek back from war. Take her out of the picture and the Shek will surely fight themselves extinct, and the Holy Nation will be overrun with any surviving war mongerers.

Yamdu

Lord Longen will make a tidy profit and the Slave Traders will have lots of new resources to mine in the Holy Nation plains. Not to mention the Shek and the Holy Nation will no longer harrass any innocents that happen not to look like them. Everybody wins.

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Do you only ever think about profits?

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I can't afford a membership right now.

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Seems like pretty blood hands to me...

Yamdu

Oh sir, it's Yamdu's job. This is how we keep ourselves from going insane after all, isn't it? By doing the best job we can do, ahaha haha ha.

Yamdu

Oh, of course YOU'LL need to get your hands bloody when you assassinate the queen. The rest of us though, sir, we’ll be completely unsullied.

Yamdu

[He sticks a thumb up and his empty black eyes glisten]

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Aha...haha.

Yamdu

Can I help you, sir?

Yamdu

At your service for all membership enquiries!